Ten reasons I'm still not an adult.

The New York TImes just published a piece by Pamela Druckerman titled "What You Learned in Your 40s."

In addition to the usual stuff about how, by this age, you've kind of figured out that it does no one any good at anytime to care so much about what others think and that "eight hours of continuous, unmedicated sleep is one of life's great treasuresm"{TRUTH), she also advises on the subject of adulthood:

"There are no grown-ups. We suspect this when we are younger, but can confirm it only once we are the ones writing books and attending parent-teacher conferences. Everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently."

OK, I call bullshit on this. There are plenty of grown-ups out there, I'm just not one of them. Maybe it's because I don't have children, maybe that keeps me suspended in a perpetual state of arrested development--I don't know and I don't say this like it's something of which to be proud. Sure, I like the notion of "staying young," of not growing stale, of not forgoing adventure and no longer caring about new music, etc, but I seriously also wonder when I'm going to become the adult that my parents ever were.

I've technically been an adult for 26 years and I think the closest I've ever felt to being a bonafide grown-up is when Cory and I both got life insurance policies. That's responsible, right?

Other than that, however, nope. And I'm trying to figure out why I don't feel like a grown-up.

So far, this is what I've come up with (a partial, probably ongoing list):

  1. I still eat dinner at the coffee table almost every night. 
  2. My dining room table is reserved for when we have people over for dinner, for projects and for various cat wrestling matches.
  3. I've never hosted a holiday family get-together.
  4. I still sit at the kids' table at most family get-togethers.
  5. I usually wait to do laundry until I'm down to the dregs of my drawers
  6. Basically I have no set schedule for any household tasks or necessities.
  7. I hate gardening. Adults garden, right?
  8. I don't have a 401K (I used to, so maybe I was an adult for awhile?).
  9. I don't own property (see parenthetical above).
  10. Johnny Carson is no longer alive/ on-the-air. How can you be an adult if you don't end every evening with The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson? My 7-year-old self says this is not possible.

 

 

 

 

 

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