writegrrrl

Going off the grid

Going off the grid for a few days. Camping. Far away. Unplugging, unwinding, recharging. 

Isn't it funny the way we talk about thing like that? You have to unplug to recharge? All those gadgets that require an energy source that's either solar-powered or stuck into the wall.

But for us, the only real way to find energy anew is to yank all the cords.

So anyway, life's been super hectic lately but now we're on the eve of Spring Break and even though I only get the full week off from one job, I can at least take an extended weekend, remind myself of what's important--all while hanging out with good friends, drinking whiskey and. come sundown, staring at the stars.

Bliss.

I'm so glad I'm not dead (Saturday afternoon jam, April 5 edition)

Today marks the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. It seems as though anyone who ever cared about Nirvana has already written about what that meant--for the era, for the music, for anything and everything.

I was a Nirvana fan, too. Still am. But today I'd rather remember the way his music made me feel, as recounted through the prism of a Juliana Hatfield song.

In 1992 I bought Juliana Hatfield's solo EP Forever Baby on cassette. I listened to that damn thing in the car over and over and over. I remember driving around Midtown in my 1981 green Honda Civic hatchback. It didn't have air conditioning, but it had a tape deck so all was good.

I think it was my first or second semester at Sac State and I was living with my boyfriend in an apartment at 17th and P streets. A second-floor, two-bedroom that overlooked a courtyard with a pool. I had two cats, a full class load and a full-time job.

I was always really busy and kind of overwhelmed and always, always fighting with the boyfriend.

I was also, I remember, very very lonely. Four years removed from high school and three years deep into that shithole of a relationship, I didn't really have anyone at that point in my life that I considered my best friend. No real trusted confidant. Music was pretty much it. My therapy, my therapist. I played certain tapes in that car loudly and repeatedly.

Nirvana's Nevermind was released in 1991 and by 1992 "Smells LIke Teen Spirit" was a massive hit. Not only did it mark a cultural shift in popular music and popular culture, it just hit the target completely on what it meant to be young and confused. What 20something didn't have the lyrics "I feel stupid and contagious" looping continuously through his or her head that year? Just me? OK, whatever. I had it though and that's the point. Those words were there, like a salve.

Hatfield's song "Nirvana" perfectly captured that song's particular therapy and just as I listened to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" constantly, I also endlessly listened to Hatfield's caterwaul of a tribute.

Play, rewind, play, rewind, play, rewind. Sing, sing louder.

"Now, here comes the song I love so much
Makes me wanna go fuck shit up
Now, I got Nirvana in my head
I'm so glad I'm not dead

I slam my hand in the car door
I scream 'till I could scream no more
Bloody and mean and rotten to the core ....

You try to get off the ground
But you always end up coming down
When the sound comes around and goes in your ears
You can do anything you have no fears
When that sound comes around and goes in my ears
I can do anything I have no fears"

Without it, without Nirvana, without countless other songs, I don't know where I'd be today.

Kurt Cobain couldn't escape the demons but his music remains, helping others climb out of their own seemingly bottomless pits of darkness.

There's a certain sad beauty and joy in that.

 

Throwback Thursday, '90s Sacramento pop edition

Been browsing through SN&R archives recently and came across this, my very first story published in the paper.

It was February 1994 and I was in my second-to-last semester at Sac State. It was spring and I was interning at SN&R back when their offices were on 21st and V streets.

I spent many an afternoon there in this tiny, no-window dungeon of a room doing filing and other mundane tasks.

You know, the usual intern routine.

But I also got to leave the room and go out and do fun things like go to shows and interview bands.

I'd written about local music before for The Hornet and also for this makeshift "alternative" campus paper that I edited called The Missing Link. I probably have copies of that somewhere. I'd probably be embarrassed to see it now. But anyway, point is I'd already written about bands like Cake and Papa's Culture and Moist and Phallucy (I'll have to write about that interview sometime because it really shaped who I am as a reporter in many ways) and now I was excited to write about local music for a paper with a much bigger circulation.

I'd seen Daisy Spot play somewhere (I don't think it was the Cattle Club, I remember it being a smaller, more intimate venue) and pitched the story to my editor. He agreed and I got in touch with the band. I'm not sure how I did this in the pre-Facebook era. Probably Jerry Perry helped me or something. Back then Jerry Perry was always helping me out.

Anyway, the interview took place at Tatiana's downtown apartment--I think she lived there with her parents at the time. She and Mike were really nice and patient with what were probably my very amateur questions.

Seeing that story in print with my byline a few weeks later was the highlight of my baby writing career at that point. Twenty years later it still remains a highlight. I found such joy in going to shows, hearing awesome music and then getting to write about it.

I don't write as much about music these days, at least not as much as I'd like to. I certainly don't get out to as many shows, not for a lack of wanting though. To this day there are still not many things that make me much happier than hearing awesome music and then getting to write about it.